Bearable

by Timeshares

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credits

released 25 October 2011
Kiss Of Death Records / Kind Of Like Records

Recorded by Mike Natoli at dickButt Studios in Suffern, NY. Mixed and Mastered by Steve Sopchak at The Square Studio in Marcellus, NY. Art by Cayetano Valenzuela. Layout by Ted Casper.

Timeshares is: Jason Mosher, Eric Bedell, Mike Natoli, Jon Hernandez

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Track Name: From An Admirer Not Darryl
The life in this room could melt the snow outside... if we tried. I thought I found myself a reason to be breathing out here. I thought I had this figured out. But every year the faces changing have been estranging me from all I thought I knew about this town. Drink down your sorrows and regrets. Smoke up the weight of one more year. I'm sick of feeling down and out, when in a way all I ever wanted was a reason. The life in this room could keep us warm all night. The heat's escaping through our hands. And sometimes it feels like I'm drowning in the half-full half of a long abandoned half-empty glass. Drink down your sorrows and regrets. Smoke up the weight of one more year. I'm sick of feeling down and out, when in a way all I ever wanted was a reason to feel like our lives were moving on without our feet staying on the run. To brave the cold for another night because you're as cold as it is outside. You talk about next year like it will be no different from the last. Fuck, that was fast. I live my life in fear of knowing I could have lived each day a little better. But my throat's been getting redder.
Track Name: Everyday Doops
We should be incarcerated for being criminals of love. Your accomplice tied and bound, when they came to bag us up I still wouldn't make a sound. You've used me up. All the time spent debating where to go from here. Where I fall. And all these things I do, sleep I lose when I'm dreading waking up and shaking. Looking for getaways, desperate for any way to stop. Slow it down. Keep on breathing. Nervous, cold and tense. Regain some feeling. Drink myself some sense. Whatever's left is failing. This is my everyday when you go away. Like time is up. Like falling away. Like a lifetime spent in loops, what's the use? You've used me up.
Track Name: Focus, Eddie
Well I'm no longer waiting for the daylight to go and fade. While puppets pretend to be debating, the cost of breathing will inflate, evermore. Hold on to air that's getting lost. Staged attacks make them a killing from the threat they keep instilled while the chemtrails continue illing and the textbooks keep our youth chilled. Need no lore. Your secrets all have washed ashore. It's enough to turn your stomach out, if you've got the sense to open your ears to the sound. Fuck complacency and fuck our doubt. We're spitting blood to make up for all of those that couldn't shout when we say we've had enough. The elite continue drilling through the black and red that spilled. Naive feet will foot the billing until the bottom line is filled, evermore. But now your shoes have marked the floor. It's enough to turn your stomach out, if you've got the sense to open your ears to the sound. Fuck complacency and fuck our doubt. We're spitting blood to make up for all of those that couldn't shout when we say we've had enough. You try to cover all this up with doctored news, but the pills are sweet. I've read the news with sooth. So here I stand up now, eyesight blurred but I cite right. What we lack in strength, we make up with our minds.
Track Name: Oh No Not That
We exist under the pavement. When the truth came down, who came to save us? It was you and me. Only us. They can't find us. You can fill the holes in what I know of being somebody's pillar of strength and hope with grand assumption and greater consumption. Still we persist, maybe worse off together. But if this all burned down, who would know better? Better than you and me? Only us. They can't find us.
Track Name: Sarah, Send Your Driver
This is a bomb. You were wrong again. Quit fucking with our heads… we said. You told me this was everything. Now you’re as good as dead… in my head. You never knew anything. I’ve been digging this ship up from the ground. I bet you're sleeping soundly since you burned it down. And there was a time that I wished you'd realize. Not anymore... We're sailing forward. And there's no chance in hell we're looking back while you're stuck on the shore. Beat up and miles away is not how you should have left us here. We're letting go. We're tearing up all of the things we tried to sew. Our greatest times, we've yet to have, you'll never know. You wanted one more for the road. I'm not one for old time's sake. This is a bomb. You were wrong again. Quit fucking with our heads… we said. You told me this was everything. Now you’re as good as dead… in my head. You never knew anything. You wait for a change. You made your own change.
Track Name: Damn Near By Beer
A song made me cry in Cleveland. My heart, filled with doubt. Would I die before New England? I guess we'll all find out. Would you still love me if your world was passing me by? Do you stil love me? Why? You're so far away, a heart cast in plaster. We can feed our vices if they cure our cancers. We ask ugly questions and get ugly answers. Separate my body and tongue so they can't be held accountable for one another. Separate my body and tongue as to not speak for weight on weathered shoulders with strange devotion. Still I would cling to this weight and sink down into the ocean. Wake up in a strange land. The ones who love us might say they understand... they won't. They're so far away, getting farther faster. We can feed our vices if they cure our cancers. We ask ugly questions and get ugly answers. I guess that's us. Hey Mike, it's me. Call the guys. Let's get in the Hate Game and go far away from here.
Track Name: Too Many ELO Days
How can I ever believe this is a crisis when you know the answers because you were the cause of this? The only crisis that I see was 1933 when you declared bankruptcy. Now the rats in my hallway are only eating every other day. And quitting time is always on my mind. I'd burn the check if it would keep me warm. It's not worth a thing until it's backed in gold, like the jewelry we sold to pay our credit cards. We all deserve to sweat a little less for all the things we drag ourselves to our jobs for, but I find myself sweating more. My folks were lying to me, it turns out money grows on trees. How could it be so easy to start production at the mint, swing the axe, hit print and watch it all come tumbling down? You've got bats in your belfry if you think I'm believing what you're telling me. And losing time is always on my mind. I'm losing my mind at the same time. It's not worth a thing until it's backed in gold, like the jewelry we sold to pay our credit cards. We all deserve to sweat a little less for all the things we drag ourselves to our jobs for, but I find myself sweating more. If only I could shade myself but those trees don't grow in my backyard.
Track Name: Chinese Coffee Torture
We've spent entire nights sustaining wounds we've held for so long. When do we stop, slow down to fix them? We don't. We just go on. And we've woken up alone, bitter, defeated. Gasping for breath that we've lost in our time spent repeating. So let's not be hasty because it might be too late. I believe we can be electric. We could conduct. After all the things we thought we were above that crushed us. And all those times we thought we were invincible and found out we're not. It's never getting any easier and it's never been so hard. We've never been much for believers but I still believe we can be electric. It's not about fear or anger. It's not about retribution. It's not about the things in which I have no say. It's about being things today that I couldn't find yesterday. Got to pick up the fucking pieces. Sometimes I forget it, when it's bearing down on me and I let it. Got to pick up the fucking pieces. And all the nights you spent screaming, you thought no one heard. It's never getting any easier. And did we really think it would? Sometimes the things that leave us leave us for good. While it's fleeting, if we're breathing lungs with hearts still beating. I still believe we can be electric.
Track Name: Skirt Wednesday
I don't believe in young love. Holding on so tight, desperately to anything like a fucking parasite. You could be across the room or across the sea. We could still agree on one thing. I don't believe in young love. Embering with breath baited. Laughing and mistaken. So if you ever felt that burn, that was me waiting. But not anymore. You could be across the room or across the sea, somewhere on the moon or in some small city out in the Midwest or lying next to me. We could still agree on one thing. I don't believe in young love.
Track Name: Mumbleface
Disguise all the thoughts running through my head and hold them back for way too long. And where have I been these days? What matters to me anyway? I said nothing, like I always say. I felt the flames rising up in me. I turned away. I've seen myself as equal to bad bad people. Taken vice for virtue and vanity for my fucking nonsense. If we could only find the word, vague and luminous. Like light in dark of fear and hate we let swallow us. I've felt compromised, violated, vanished into ghosts that retreat into the haunts and corners that comfort us the most. And I used to laugh about it and you'd scream "It's not funny." You took the spring right from my step, took the words right from my mouth. No one will ever know how my mind would race with anger, undignified. Who'd think that it could stall out stagnant, so god damn satisfied. Through the voids left in the silence and the things we never say, the word slips away. If the wise have the house of mourning, we could live in a house of fools. Sit down, shut up like all good children do. I said nothing like I always do. Withered down to bone, beaten down. "And where have you been these days? What matters to you anyway?" I said nothing. Took the spring right from my step, took the words right from my mouth. No one will ever know. Your eyes were burning through me, red and wet. They were waiting for the word. Took the spring right from my step, took the words right from my mouth. No one will ever know.
Track Name: Woke Up In Grappler School
Believe me, I can see what you're going through and what you feel like you need to do. I'll never tell you but I think you've gone about this the wrong way. But there'll be times in our lives when it feels right to take a shallow dive and find yourself on the bottom looking up. I just can't relate right now. Give me some time. What if everybody hates us for this? Right now I'm struggling. I'm juggling the roles I need to play or conceal. Makes no difference if I'm justified. Who's qualified to say if what I feel is real or not? How could they know? Up high on boxed-in thrones. In comfort and control. They'll never know. What if everybody hates us for this?
Track Name: Math & Science
It's time we understood the things that we hold on to. Now you're too late. I see smoke billow at the moon, hear records in your room. It all used to make me sick. We're becoming it. Where do we go when we hit that wall? Time that we spend drawing lines in sand. And where do we land when we're falling? Sometimes I feel defeated. We used to walk the line, we've moved in severed time and now you're too late. And everyone's so late, weathered or gone away. Things we never say. I'd be long gone too. Where do we go when we hit that wall? Time that we spend drawing lines in sand. And where do we land when we're falling? We've been desperate for bread and love, cast out by something up above, pounded on their doors and waited to be turned away. And we'd say "you all go, we'll stay." So god damn proud... well who's laughing about it now? And it used to be okay... now I'm alone... and I feel defeated.